Brittany and I are two short months away from our wedding, a day we have been anticipating since last January when we got engaged. The top lesson I have learned from planning is that weddings are a whole different ball game. From ring shopping to the honeymoon, there are more events, more decisions, and more costs than I could have imagined. In this article, I will discuss the modern-day wedding and share a few tips we have learned along the way.

The Ring Buying Process

What used to be a secretive, solo shopping trip is often now a joint experience. More couples (including us) are choosing to ring shop together. From my perspective, I am not very educated in jewelry and wanted to make sure that I was buying exactly what Brittany had in mind. If I did not involve her in the process, then it would have been difficult for me to make the best selection. 

Another factor is the cost. The traditional two to three-month salary rule is hardly followed anymore. My advice is to come up with a budget that makes sense for your situation and stick to it. This is the first of many expenses in the wedding planning process. And don’t forget the wedding band and ring of the other person in your budget.

Many couples are choosing to use lab created diamonds for engagement rings, a growing trend in jewelry (along with other stones such as moissanite and emeralds). Lab diamonds are typically 50-80% of the cost of Earth diamonds, while having superior qualities and no worries on the sourcing. Personally speaking, we are happy with our decision to go lab created.

The Announcement

The announcement of the engagement is now a consideration. Many couples choose to hire a professional photographer to capture the engagement and set up an elaborate display for all to see. They then share these photos to their social media accounts as an announcement to their friends and family. 

Some couples choose to have a post-engagement party right after the engagement to celebrate with their friends and family. I coordinated two events, one with our families and one that evening with our friends, to celebrate our engagement on the day that it happened. While this is not necessarily expected, it is a common event for today’s weddings.

The Planning Process

Planning starts many months, or years, in advance. I joke that Brittany made a lot of this very easy on me. She has had a Pinterest board of her ideal wedding since she was in grade school, so choosing small details here and there was a breeze. Everything from the processional song to the fork you eat the cake with must be chosen.

Many popular wedding venues and vendors book out years in advance for weddings, especially during May, June, and October, the most popular wedding months in Arkansas. We reserved our wedding venue 1.5 years in advance, which is not uncommon. The same applies for the top catering companies and photographers.

Creating a budget at the start of the planning process allows you to be more intentional with planning. For example, you may allocate a greater percentage of your budget to the photographer than you do to the decorations because it aligns with your shared values. This is also the time to see if anyone in your life will be helping with some or all the costs. By knowing this ahead of time, the couple can know exactly which costs will be on them and save accordingly. 

Modern Tools

Many couples choose to have a “wedding website” to organize their big day. We chose to use The Knot, but another common website is Zola. Here, guests can RSVP, access the wedding registry, view details of the day, and read excerpts from the couple. We customized our website to include engagement photos, details of our wedding parties, the story of how we met, and some of our favorite memories together over the past 6 years.

Using Excel or Google Sheets to keep track of everything has been very beneficial to us. There are likely many vendors that will require deposits of varying amounts, with different due dates, and certain contract considerations. We have about 10 vendors to make the day happen. To keep track of this, I created a spreadsheet to track due dates of payments, how much we have already paid, and what is still owed. We also keep track of our RSVP list here. These tools have helped us immensely in the planning process.

The Honeymoon

Traditionally, honeymoons occur right after the wedding, but that has shifted. A common thing to do now is called a “mini-moon”, which is a shortened honeymoon right after the wedding (often a stay in the same area where your wedding is held) with a longer trip planned for some time in the future. We opted to do a full honeymoon right after our wedding.

Being who I am, saving for the wedding and honeymoon is a goal I have had for years. For the honeymoon costs, I chose to use the Chase credit card ecosystem to save up as many points as possible for a splurge. We recently booked our 7-night stay in an all-inclusive resort (with flights included) completely on credit card points, something I got a bit too excited about. 

Wrapping it all Up

Weddings are an important moment in life. They can be as simple or as elaborate as you make them. The more events you add, the more important it is to be intentional with your spending and planning. Remember, no matter how large or small the budget is, it is a celebration of love and a new life together. A thought exercise that helps Brittany and I make choices about our wedding is to think about if we would be happy we made that decision five years from now. That might be a good barometer on if you are making a good decision. At AFG, we are always willing to discuss budgets on goals such as this.

Jake Spradlin, CFP®

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